Why does it still hurt? It's been a week, not even. I've done this before. I know that I'll be fine. And I know that it's the right thing, and that I was treated like crap and deserve so much better, he even told me that so many times, so why does it hurt so much? Bursting into tears is not what I call the right way to fall asleep. I'd like to just drift off into a peaceful rest but instead I essentially pass out from being so miserable. I know I said I was fine and ok and at peace but I'm really not. I spent so much time convincing myself as well as others that my time was being well spent and that in the end everything would work out great, but I was wrong and it's just hard to admit. Some people will never change, no matter how much you love them. No matter how much you invest in them. No one deserves to be treated the way I was, and I just can't get over the fact that I let it happen for so long. I'm sure I've said these things before but I'm finally realizing how wrong it really was. I'm crushed, but am totally allowed to be.
I guess feeling sad is better than feeling mad. I've been mad in the past week too, but it's those times when I feel like I should be crying but I can't I just shake with anger. I think it's better to cry, it allows more feelings to be present.
Well here goes another shot at trying to sleep tonight.
sincerely, me
