I don't understand men. I know that women are supposed to be the confusing ones, but my interaction with the opposite sex over the last few months have sent my head spinning, and not in a good way.
Jackson*, Robert*, Jude*, and Will*: the four guys who have sent my head spinning.
I'll start from the most recently.
Will- We had an awesome time at this wedding, you see. Then we talked pretty frequently on and off. We discussed going on a date, the only problem is that he lives in a different state and is only in Chicago a few times every few months. So needless to say, we finally made plans to see each other on New Years...and we all know how that ended up (recap: lost my phone, missed his call and then saw him for less than 30minutes the next day). And I haven't seen or really heard from him since. Well actually that's not entirely true, he's a Packers Fan and kinda sorta invited me to watch the SuperBowl with him and his friends, but because I had to work I couldn't. So I think I like this guy but I've actually spent less than a few hours with him, and I don't really know what he's like other than my married friends think we would be good together. What to do? There's not much I can do.
Moving on.
Jude-We went on a few really fun dates, but I always felt like he was looking for a wife. Sure, I want to get married, but not to some guy I just started getting to know. I don't want to talk about my relationship with my brothers and sisters, I don't want to talk about my parent's relationship with each other. Isn't that a little heavy for a first date? And the thing about it was that he was so nice! I think that's something tat I was a little freaked out about. I haven't been with a genuinely nice person in a very long time so when I was hanging out with this guy who was toothachingly sweet, I didn't know what to do, so I avoided doing anything about it and ended up hurting this really nice guy instead of just letting him go gently.
next?
Robert-We made a connection before I was even single, then when I was single we thought it would be instant spark. Maybe on the other end it was, but I was a little uncomfortable during the entire time we were spent together. Don't get me wrong, It was a good time, I had a lot of fun and laughed more than I had in a really long time, but then I started working nights and our schedules never meet up. So it faded, then I started thinking maybe I really do like this guy, but still our schedules don't ever meet up, so I don't think it will ever work.
and finally, he who has been named "he who shall not be named" now has a name...
Jackson-The inspiration for the name: well Jackson Avery, of course. Jackson is one of those guys that I can't seem to get enough of. I don't understand the fascination, but I haven't seemed to be able to kick it for the last year or so. But last month I made a break through. I decided I'm better than what we had. I wasn't about to get back together with someone who put me through complete turmoil. So I cut off all communication. Literally, all communication. No Facebook, no Twitter, no phone number (although I still have the number memorized), and no texts, or e-mail. Except for the fact the the other end of my no communication doesn't quite follow the rules. When I say in one last e-mail that I would like some feedback on if there was anything I could do better (even though I know that I wasn't the problem), and I don't get a response for three weeks, and there was nothing about anything in the e-mail, that's rude. And then to send another one asking me to tell him everything he needs to do to change!? WTF?! Oh well. That's life.
So as confused as I am about the men I come in contact with, I am OK with where I am in my life. I can work, and I can spend time with friends. I feel like this blog has been my venting, and I think that's OK. I know that although it may be hard to read, I like writing about all this crap. It's a little entertaining to read back on.
Alright, that's all for now. I hope noone gets depressed from reading this, because I'm not depressed, just reflecting. So , I hope everyone has a bright and shiny day.
sincerely, me.
*the names of these men have been changed, for privacy of course ;)
This was a very wonderful blog post Emily. I love you. I love your strength and how you write and how you vent (:
ReplyDeleteAlso, code names are cute... but one might be racist (:
He Em, It's Nathan, reading your blog from Ingrid's "Bookmarks" tab. I hope, in general, that I have never been as confusing as the men you've written about here. Regardless, I hope your doing OK with work. Ingrid and I will be starting full-time nights here soon :(
ReplyDeleteFinally, you are loved by many, including me.
Oh, and call Nick (The Swasian). He's working crazy hours and probably could use a date. I'll get you his number. Seriously. I love that man as much as the oxygen I breath.
oh nathan, thanks for commenting, i forget this blog is open to the world. haha. well you aren't confusing because ingrid understands you and i'm not trying to date you either. congrats on the job! nights aren't so bad, especially when you have someone else to do them with. and did you know nick and i have been running into each other lately? it's weird how small the np world is. but i'm kinda taking a break from dating, i need to figure stuff out. but i'll let you know if i open dating again. thanks for thinking of me. we'll talk soon i hope.
ReplyDelete